Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
