I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
