I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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