now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
