i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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