When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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