Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
