Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize