You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
