god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
