We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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