he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
