You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
