please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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