Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
