how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
