Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
