I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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