Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
