i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
