he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
