Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
