i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
