Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
