As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
