I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
