Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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