Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
