he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize