Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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