I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
