i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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