i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
