Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
