All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
false alarm. still invincible.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
