you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
