I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
is that a dick in a sweater?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
soo... how was my night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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