I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
