We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
