I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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