so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
