We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
