look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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