Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Duck Duck Cougar?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
