I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
