we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
