It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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