He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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