He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
