please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
