Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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