Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I wish I could teleport

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?

(303): View more from Colorado

Knowing your life, probably not.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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(254): View more from Texas

I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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(607): View more from New York

just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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(248): View more from Michigan

she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..

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(937): View more from Ohio

On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo

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(786): View more from Florida

I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂

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