I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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