We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
