You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
