All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
