I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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