I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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