Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
