So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
