i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
