What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize