I need help removing her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
