My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
