I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
