Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
