I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
