maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
